Archive for the 'humour' Category

This is really good: “An ode to the awesome and ridiculous vampire fans out there! A parody of the “Billionaire” music video by Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars.”

LYRICS:

I wanna be a Vampire so freakin’ bad

and bite all of the girls I never had.

I wanna be on the cover of Fangs Magazine

smiling next to Edward and Sookie.

Oh every time I close my eyes

I scream that I will never die

A different blood-type every night,

Oh I, I swear

The world better prepare,

For when I’m a vampire.

Yeah, I would have a cape like Dracula

Sneak up from the back of ya,

Everyday Halloween

Popular with all the teens

I’ll probably pull an alice cullen and emmett

and hook up with my siblings just for the heck of it.

Give away a few t-shirts that say “Suck It”

and last but not least grant somebody their last wish

You can call me Count von Count from the ‘Street, though

I’m not purple and I got no hand up my bum hole.

Get it? Can’t wait to bite on some Twi-moms

they all seem to want to get it on in my coffin

I’ll make sure to choose my victims with care

and there’ll be smokin’ hot 100-year-old cougars everywhere!

Oh every time I close my eyes

I dream that I will never die

A different blood-type every night,

oh I, I swear

The world better prepare,

for when I’m a vampire.

I’ll be buyin’ up Transylvanian real estate

avoiding all the wooden stakes

Ain’t got time for all of that furry werewolf patty-cake

Poof of smoke, and then i’ll fly away like a crazed bat

And sparkle while running through the woods giving piggy-backs

And, yeah, everyone will think that I’m real gay

But they’ll all be dead by my 200th birthday.

I’ll probably suck the most of all the vampires you know

and have a thousand hook-ups with the girls that are emo.

And all the other vampire starlets

could rest in peace once we rid the world of all garlic.

I know we’ve all gotta similar thirst

for finding tasty necks, so sink your teeth in for the blood burst

I wanna Vampire so freakin’ bad

and bite all of the girls i never had.

I wanna be on the cover of Fangs Magazine

smiling next to Edward and Sookie (What up Sookie!)

Oh every time I close my eyes

It’s cause my skins sparkling so bright

I dream that I will never die

A different blood-type every night,

oh I, I swear

The world better be scared,

for when i’m a vampire.

I wanna be a vampire so freakin’ bad…..